A few years ago, I was working for an ad agency on a business-to-business campaign. The concept we came up with called for illustrations of exotic birds (a Bird of Paradise, a Secretary bird, that sort of thing), and the client agreed to hire probably the best bird illustrator around.
A few hours after the site went live.
Client: I don’t see us on the Google. Shouldn’t the Google be impressed with my website??
Me: No matter what we do, it still takes time to index. The site should start appearing within a month or so. Your brand is very unique.
Client: That’s not fast enough. Should I call the Google?
Me: …You can try.
Client: There’s a problem with your invoice.
Me: Oh? What’s the problem?
Client: Well, I can’t actually pay it. You see, the thing is that I knew I didn’t have the money when I got you to do the job but - and I might not have mentioned this - I’m a big believer in the Laws of Attraction….
Client: Hey! We need a digital artist to color a sketch one of our guys made. It’s the eight of us as superheroes. Would you be able to do that?
Me: Yes, but eight characters would take time to color.
Client: Oh, that’s okay. We need it next week. How does $5 sound?
I give him a look.
I work at a private school where I teach photography and design. We have a development office that handles the website as well as the alumni magazine. The office needed some photos of a few of our students to put in the magazine so they contacted me.
Client: Hi! We need some photos done for…
I was doing a shoot for a promo video. The girl appearing in it was nice enough, if not a little flighty, and we agreed we could finish the shoot the next day.
When I got to the set, she had dyed her hair deep purple (as opposed to the dusty blonde she had the day before).
When I told her we had a problem, she shrugged and said, “Actresses change hairstyles all the time. Nobody will notice.”
The video was Old West themed.